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Unpredictable Things

by cgb

Date: Sunday, February 02, 2003 8:28 PM

     Title: Unpredictable Things
     Author: Christinecgb (luberluber@yahoo.com.au)
     Web: http://appelsini.tripod.com/Christine
     Series: VOY/TNG
     Category: f/f, Suzie Q/Amanda Rogers
     Rating: NC-17
     Summary: "Amanda wanted to move the Q, wanted to move this Q"

Amanda Rogers featured in the TNG episode "True-Q" as a Q raised as a human until she became a young adult. Suzie Q was in the VOY episode "The Q and the Grey" (she was never called 'Suzie Q' in the episode but was given that name by Jim Wright because she was played by one of Trek's favourite guest actresses - certainly one of my favourites - Suzie Plakson). She was a female Q who apparently had a relationship with Q for a "few billion years".

Written for the Trek Femme Fuh-q Fest (http://www.geocities.com/femmefuhqfest/) Round VIII.


What they didn't understand, what they could never understand, was her fascination with the ladybug that crawled on the underside of a rosebush leaf -completely undeterred by gravity and completely distinct from others of its species despite the appearance of sameness.

This was something she couldn't teach them.

So she was alone most of the time. And it didn't bother her. She was alone before this - before Q, before the magic, before she stopped asking questions.

She was still 'Amanda' then.

"What are you doing?" It was Q. Q in his human form and wearing the uniform he'd grown so fond of. He fitted in here. "The Q are concerned about you."

She turned her attention back to the ladybug. "It worries them when they don't understand." She held out a finger towards the leaf and bent it backwards so that the tip pointed to the ground. The ladybug looped the arch.

"It was expected you would grow disinterested in humans given time." He sighed. "I blame myself. I'm not a good role model."

It wasn't the humans, but she didn't tell him that. She kept the form, kept the clothes, and even kept the name, but it wasn't the humans. It was the ladybug, but he wouldn't understand that.

"I'm sorry," she said. She had nothing else to say.

He left eventually and he didn't tell he where he went. She didn't ask. The Q were constantly in transition and never really in one place at a given time. They were unused to goodbyes.

It was Q who showed up next. She wondered if he'd sent her. Q also had some experience with humans although she claimed she didn't like them.

She was human now. Like him.

Like him she asked, "What are you doing?"

"Come here." She pointed to the ladybug still meandering its way around the leaf. "Look."

"It's a ladybug," she said. And she frowned. Q's nose creased when she frowned.

"You make a lovely human," Amanda said.

"Thank you," Q said, obviously pleased. "So do you."

It wasn't the right thing to say but Q didn't notice and Amanda didn't mind. She was growing used to the Q and at times they amused her.

It just wasn't enough. "Why did you come?"

Q crossed her arms. She wore a uniform too. It had Captain's pips on the collar and from time to time passing Starfleet personnel would salute her. She saluted back in an attempt to remain inconspicuous. The Q were pedantic about things like that. "Why do they do that?"

"It's a mark of respect."

"It's pointless."

She turned her attention back to the ladybug. It had given up on the leaf and was now making its way down the stem. "It's difficult to explain."

Q sighed - a very human sigh. "They're worried about you," she said, eventually.

"Are you worried about me?"

Q appeared to be thinking. "No," she said eventually. "Humans are very resilient."

The ladybug had disappeared under the mulch underneath the rose bush. She watched for a while to see if it would reappear but it didn't. She could bring it back. She could make it perform endless trails across the leaves of the rose bush if she wanted, but she wasn't cruel and never had been. And when she admitted it to herself she realised it was the randomness of the action that held her attention - the unpredictability and impossibility of the mind of an insect.

She turned and looked at Q. "Then why are you here?"

"You interest me."

"I didn't think you liked humans." It was an observation rather than an accusation. She knew the Q would be unapologetic for partiality. They were Q. They defied explanation.

Q shrugged. "They can be quite charming. Besides -you're not human. You're Q. You just retain some of the characteristics of your former life." She reached out and touched Amanda's hair. It was an odd gesture coming from a Q. They were not usually driven to explore lesser sensations, but Q seemed to savour the feel of a soft surface beneath her fingers. "I find that interesting..."

There was potential in all things. Even the Q.

There were things she missed: touch, smell, taste, the unpredictability of these visceral pleasures, the danger of not knowing. There were things she couldn't duplicate, no matter how often she tried.

Q's hand against her forehead felt like a memory.

There were things she couldn't teach them and maybe they had no advantage in knowing but she wanted to show them and she hoped they'd find meaning in what they saw.

"Do you want to know what it's like?"

Q raised her eyebrows slightly. "To be human, you mean?"

"To be alive." She leaned forward and kissed Q on the mouth. Q didn't react at first but she didn't pull away. She seemed to be examining the process, experiencing it scientifically. However, after a few moments, Q's lower lip moved against her own.

And then she pulled away. "It's a curious sensation," Q said. "A mating ritual, if I'm not mistaken."

"It isn't always."

Q looked at her with cool regard. The Q were not often moved, not even this one who had conceived a child through means that the Q were disinclined to contemplate. And Amanda wanted to move the Q, wanted to move this Q, wanted to disturb her and tilt her from her steady confidence that was so Q.

It was daring - and probably presumptuous, if not foolish. So there was some human left in her after all.

Amanda blinked, and the park was replaced by coast. They stood on top of a cliff overlooking a long beach.

"A change of scenery?" Q asked.

"Humans prefer privacy." She kissed Q again. This time Q responded immediately, mimicking the movements of Amanda's tongue with her own.

Amanda's hands moved to Q's shoulders and she urged her toward the ground so that they were both on their knees. They kissed again until Amanda's hands began to loosen the fasteners on Q's uniform.

"Why are we doing this?" Q said. "It serves no practical purpose." She didn't discourage Amanda, but she performed her movements dutifully, as if out of obligation.

"Because we can forget ourselves," Amanda said.

Q frowned. "That's ridiculous. These carnal pleasures are animalistic. Suitable for lesser beings but hardly worthy of the Q."

Amanda smiled. "You're missing the point," she said. "You have to let go. You have to forget who you are. Here," She brushed her hands across Q's breast. "Do you like it when I touch you here? Do you want me to touch you there again?"

Q considered this. "Yes," she said without a trace of desire in her voice.

"What if I don't? What if I move my hand this way." She moved her hand across Q's stomach and lowered it towards her abdomen. "What if I let go? What if I don't touch you at all? Is that what you want."

"No."

Amanda took her hand away. Q lids were lowered and her lips were slightly parted. It was a change - a sign. "It's okay to want," Amanda whispered and she removed the upper half of Q's Starfleet uniform and lowered her mouth to Q's shoulder. Q began to respond, quietly at first, soft sighs and small whimpers when Amanda let her teeth graze Q's clavicle. Amanda let her hands drift below the waistband of Q's trousers and the sighs grew slightly in volume.

She lowered Q onto the ground and pushed her trousers to her ankles. She ran a hand along her leg. "You're very beautiful," she said. Q was indeed beautiful. Her dark hair contrasted against her pale skin and she had sharp, blue eyes as cold as ice.

"I chose this body because it was visually pleasing."

"Beauty is more than physical appearance."

Her fingertips slid along the inside of Q's thigh. She parted Q's legs with her knee and bent down toward her pubis. Her hand continued to stroke Q's skin as she ran her tongue over Q's clitoris. Q gasped with pleasure. She arched her back instinctively and Amanda was given a pleasant view of Q's small breasts jutting into the air, nipples taut and pointing to the sky. It was more than beauty, it was dreamlike and it had been so long since she had dreamed.

She thrust her fingers inside Q and felt her breaths coming fasters until their pitch signalled the beginning of Q's climax. She raised herself up from Q's pubis, continuing to work her clitoris with her other hand. Q gave her a questioning look.

"I need you to look at me," Amanda said. "I want you to look at me when you come."

It wasn't a long wait. Their eyes met and Q cried out as Amanda felt her body shake beneath her hands.

They lay still for a while as Q's breath slowed. Q leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She smiled. "Strange," she said. "And not without charm, but I fail to understand humans better if that was the purpose. Although, there is certainly more intensity to the experience than I would have foreseen."

Q affected a look of thoughtfulness. Amanda watched the sun. It was slowly beginning to dip into the ocean. This spot had always been her favourite and now she could stay here for all eternity if she wanted.

And it was strange, and perhaps she didn't understand it herself, but it still did not hold the same fascination as the ladybug climbing under the leaves of the rose bush.

"We're not finished."

"We're not?"

Amanda leaned herself onto her elbows. She was still fully dressed - the Q knew little about reciprocation. Maybe that was the lesson here?

"You touched me earlier. Why did you do that?"

Q's gaze drifted to her hands. "It was pleasant." She tilted her head to the side. "I hope you're not going to tell me there was something profoundly human in that gesture - you're not the only species that enjoys physical pleasure."

"You don't understand any of them. You don't know why they do it. You don't know why you did it."

Amanda stood up and peeled her dress over her head. She was naked underneath. She sat back down on the grass beside Q and waited, watching Q's face.

Q's eyes widened, her pupils large and deep.

"The lesson isn't over," Amanda said.

Q raised her hand slowly. She reached out toward the skin just above Amanda's breast and touched her in the slight curve where the swell started to form. Her fingers began a trail down Amanda's chest, moving in a ragged pattern from one side to the other but never increasing in pace. The pressure was light but sure and not unlike the ladybug crawling across the rosebush leaf, its movement random, steady, unreliable and dependable at the same time.

"No, I don't believe it is," Q said and she raised her lips to meet Amanda's once more.

Fin


cgb

"The elves are the harbingers of our doom!" (Stargate SG1)


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