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Full of Woe

by Daria

Date: Sunday, October 20, 2002 3:50 AM

     Title: Full of Woe
     Author: cgb
     Rating: PG
     Fandom: Daria
     Category: Daria/Jane, mild f/f
     Archive: Yep
     Spoilers: Well, anything pre the college years (we haven't
     made it that far in Australian television. Please bear that
     in mind when reading). 
     Author's Notes: Written for the Bordello Days of the Week
     challenge: "Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesday's child
     is full of grace, Wednesday's child is full of woe..."
     Thanks, as always, to my girl Teanna. 

The writing on the back of the toilet door says, "God is the answer" and underneath someone has written "Oh no! I checked 'D: none of the above.'"

Three years at UCLA and she has yet to fill a cubicle in the girl's room with her manifesto. This surprises her. Was she not the unheard voice of dissent and here she had a captive audience. Not that she needed an audience.

"It's understandable," Jane says. Her voice travels down the telephone line in the small hours of the morning. Jane went to Berlin on an art scholarship but she spends more time drinking in smoky bars than painting. "Positioning yourself next to the Christian Right, either politically or on the back of a toilet door, is never where you want to be - just ask Andrea Dworkin."

"What do you think Andrea Dworkin was like in college?"

"Cute, popular - probably Keg Party Queen or Miss November in the Pi Alpha Sorority calendar."

"Say something in German."


She dies her hair black. She concedes she may have been thinking about the sleek, blackness of Jane's hair, now shaved within an inch of her scalp in the photos she sends. It makes her look older.

Daria's room mate tells her she looks like Wednesday Adams, and she is reminded of a rhyme, "Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesdays child is full of grace, Wednesday's child is full of woe..." She was once fixated on the idea of Wednesday. Wednesday was the day it could rain and no one would notice. Wednesday was the day you thought the weekend would never come.

She decided she was born on a Wednesday. She asked her mother about it. "Was I born on a Wednesday?"

"Heavens no, Daria! You were born on a Friday."

"Are you sure?"

"Well of course, I'm sure! I'm your mother aren't I?"

"I wasn't going to ask, but now that you bring it up..."


She found a birth certificate in a box of old papers in the attic. Friday, 19 April 1983 - "loving and giving" so the rhyme went. Not for the first time she wondered whether there'd been a mix up at the hospital.

"Wednesday Adams never wore glasses," Jane says.

"I'm wearing contact lenses again."

"I see."

"They're for driving. I have a car."

"That excuse didn't work last time."

"Do you ever think your lack of faith in me might leave lasting psychological damage?"

"It's a small price to pay for a reality check. You'll thank me one day."

There's no one now. No one who talks like Jane. Aunt Amy knew this. She told her there would be no salvation in college - or anywhere really. "You just get better at ignoring them," she said, and that was something to think about.

"I gotta go," Jane says. "There's a strange man in our kitchen and he's sniffing my pizza."

"Remember, you promised me a piece of the Berlin Wall."

When the line goes dead she thinks about three things:

  1. The bill will be huge. Her mother will probably scream and her father will clutch his tie in that way he probably never did before she came along.
  2. She should have said, "I never had it so good as when I had you," or something equally trite, however true. She should have told her that college life isn't different from anything she knew four years ago. Same old crowds, same old nightmare. They're older and they have their own names on the plastic but there are 'Britneys' and 'Kevins' and, wouldn't you know it, 'Quinns' at college. And for some reason she's the only one who finds this morally outrageous. She wonders whether there is somewhere you can go and really be somewhere else, and whether Jane found it.
  3. She wonders whether she should have told her what she' s only come to know now, or whether there's a time and place for that - whether there will be a day when she can say, "you know, I was always a little in love with you."



"Why do I feel like I'm in a women behind bars movie?" - Samantha Carter

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Daria

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