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by Christina S. Davis

Subject: [glass_onion] FIC: Screaming (BtVS,1/1, PG, Spoilers for last three episodes of Season 6) Date: Saturday, May 25, 2002 8:22 PM

TITLE: Screaming
AUTHOR: Christina S. Davis
KEYWORDS: Willow, Xander
SPOILERS: "Villains", "Two To Go", "Grave" SUMMARY: "She couldn't recall much of anything beyond the voices and the emotions." DISCLAIMER: Situation mine. Characters and setting not mine. FEEDBACK: It's better then ice cream
ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just drop me a note. AUTHOR'S NOTES: The small act of unconditional love saving Willow touched me more deeply then I would have expected it too. This is not a style I'm used to working in but I wanted to show Willow's fragmented psyche.

She couldn't recall much of anything beyond the voices and the emotions. She could remember the pain and the anger and the agony of a million screaming voices, but why and when and where were all a huge blur.

There had been a woman's voice and it sounded happy. It was full of laughter and full of love. It faded away with nothing more then the smallest of gasps. Then the pain had come and the furious waves crashed against her so hard that they dulled out every sound but the sound her heart made when it broke. Voices slowly started to seep in. Voices ripe with concern pleaded with her. But they were pleading with someone who no longer existed and eventually they too seemed to disappear.

One had almost broken through. His pain was great and his agony bled into her ears. But he was the source of her pain and so she robbed him of his voice. She took his mouth and then returned it only to take his being.

And so it continued with the din becoming louder but more incoherent. Her power grew and her own inner voice began to sound anything but human.

Then the surge came. The world became lit for the briefest of seconds and then collapsed into darkness almost as quickly.

She felt nothing and everything.

And the whole world sang out to her. It was a song full of unspeakable sorrow and the chorus was full of voices shrieking to her to end their suffering. They overtook her and filled her with purpose.

She fed off the pain and let it empower her. The energy of the entire planet seemed to flow through her and out of her towards the center of its destruction. She felt satisfaction.

And then one voice seemed to faintly begin to raise above the rest. It was in pain too but it was begging her to stop.

She shoved it aside but it grew louder.

It grew more persistent and gradually the waves slowed their crashing and the crying of the world grew fainter.

The voice was full of an emotion she didn't know if she remembered.

Her eyes grew wider and the colors around her grew brighter.

The sun was up and it burned yellow.


It wasn't dark anymore.

Yellow crayons.

Willow I love you.



Her body screamed but she could not drown out the other voice.

Love. The other voice was full of love.

She had loved Tara.

Tara was gone but the world remained. And it was bright and full of love.

Love for her.

Xander's love for her.

The darkness seemed to pull away from her and reality started to come into focus.

She was Willow and as a child she had broken a yellow crayon.

The tears came and they felt so good streaming down her cheeks. She let go of herself and fell.

But Xander caught her.

And Xander held her.

And the bright yellow sun beat down on them both.

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us what we truly are, far more then our abilities" -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Christina S. Davis

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