Jack was in trouble. There were six of them, with staff weapons, and one of him with an empty clip. Maybe he could stall them until the others got here. "Hey, guys," he said in his most reasonable tone. The air crackled as all six prepared to fire.
Okay, maybe stalling not the greatest idea in this situation. Jack hit the ground and rolled. There was a bright flash and it forced his eyes closed for moment.
When he opened them, there was nothing. No Jaffa, no weapons. Just -- he sniffed -- the fresh scent of pine. What the--?
Then he looked up and saw the Asgard ship. "Thor," he yelled and waved. "Thanks, buddy." He thought a light blinked twice on the ship before it flew away.
Friends in high places, he thought, and went to find the others.
Jack was in trouble. He was at the bottom of a lake with his foot trapped between two rocks and his lungs full of stale air. He yanked his leg. He could see a dark shape approaching. Teal'c, probably. Jack hoped he'd last till they could heave the rocks apart.
Then there was a bright light and a dissolving sensation. Jack found himself on the shore, perfectly dry, standing beside Daniel and Carter.
"Sir?" Carter said. "Are you all right?"
"There," Daniel said and pointed at the sky. Jack knew before he looked. Thor. He smiled.
"You know," Carter said. "Teal'c's been down there looking for you for a really long time."
"Oh hell," Jack said and waded back into the lake.
On the Planet of the Celtic Warriors, Thor changed Jack's attackers's weapons to loaves of bread and they stopped fighting and invited SG-1 to dinner.
On the Planet of the Maori, At Least Daniel Was Pretty Sure They Were Maori, Thor stopped a landslide, holding rocks suspended in mid-air so Jack could escape.
On the Planet Where Nobody Actually Lived, Thor put up a shield around Jack when a swarm of bees flew at them. Unfortunately, forty-seven bees stung Daniel, but he was all right again in a week.
On the Planet Where It Rained All The Fucking Time, Jack slipped in a puddle and fell on his ass. Teal'c reached out to give him a hand up but before Jack could take it, he'd been beamed back to his feet. And the mud had been cleaned off his fatigues.
On the Planet of the Big Orange Lizards, Jack was sitting by the campfire. He got out a power bar for a late night snack. The wrapper didn't seem to want to open, though, and Jack frowned as he picked at it. He was just about to get out his knife when there was the now-familiar bright light and the wrapper was gone.
Jack jumped to his feet. "Thor," he yelled, "I can open my own fucking power bar!"
The light again, the dissolving sensation, and Jack was off the planet and on Thor's ship.
"I am sorry, Colonel O'Neill," Thor said, walking up to Jack. "I did not mean to cause offense. I simply wanted to aid you."
"I'm not offended," Jack said. "I'm ... curious. Why do you keep following me around and helping me?"
Thor looked up at Jack, his big black eyes looking bigger and blacker in the gentle lighting of the ship. "Because I care for you." He took Jack's hand. Thor's fingers were cool and almost moist to the touch. "I cannot allow anything to happen to you."
Jack stared for a moment. "I didn't know you felt that way," he said. This was awkward. But, Jack thought, looking down, maybe not so bad. He'd always thought Thor was pretty cute. "But about all the rescues -- I can take care of myself. And when I can't, my team can. It's just not ... fun to be safe all the time."
"I understand. Shall I send you back, Colonel O'Neill?" Thor said, his voice low.
"No," Jack said. "Not yet." He tightened his fingers around Thor's. "And call me Jack."
On the Planet of the Really Big Mice, Jack broke his arm. Carter splinted it and they headed back to Earth. Thor sent flowers and a get-well card.
On the Planet Where Everybody Was Really Uptight, Jack broke seventeen local laws and got thrown in prison. Daniel talked them into letting him go. Thor called up Jack just to chat after things were straightened out.
On the Planet of the Three Major Naquadah Mines, SG-1 were on a mission to obtain as much naquadah and intell as they could, then return to Earth. Jack got separated from the others and ended up pinned down by a dozen Jaffa. He had almost exhausted his ammunition and was trying to think how he could get out of this when there was a bright flash and Thor was beside him.
"Am I glad to see you," Jack said. "Let's get out of here."
"Certainly, Jack. What is your plan?"
"Plan?" Jack looked at Thor. "The plan is that you beam our asses out of danger."
"I regret that I cannot," Thor said. "I wanted to experience the 'fun' of your missions so I have come without weapons or instruments. My ship will not transport me back for 48 hours."
"Oh," Jack said. He took out two Jaffa and then his gun was useless, except maybe as a club.
The other warriors soon had them surrounded. Jack and Thor stood back to back, hands raised. "I look forward to your creative solution to this problem," Thor said. "Or the thrilling rescue by your teammates."
"Any minute now," Jack said and hoped that it was true.
Then the Goa'uld ringed down.
F I N I S
Halrloprillalar "Hal" email@example.com FIC: http://prillalar.com
Wesley is our King.
Please post a comment on this story.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Title: Happily Ever After
Author: Halrloprillalar [email] [website]
Details: Standalone | PG-13 | 5k | 04/18/04
Notes: Written in 70 minutes for the contrlamontre Deus Ex Machina challenge.
Disclaimer/Other: Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions, not me.
Distribution: Archive anywhere. Email forwarding allowed.
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