"Are you sure this is how we do it?" Fred asked, straining to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Trusting Harmony was such an unnerving proposition; sure, one minute she was the cute secretary girl friend type. But then Harmony would come up with ideas like trussing Fred up like a Goth turkey and then Fred remembered that Harmony was also an evil, soulless vampire who sometimes didn't think these things through. "These boots are awfully...tall. And the skirt's so short that I think there might be bottom showing."
"Well, duh, silly!" Harmony said brightly, looking up from the floor, where she was attached Fred's garter belt to her black fishnet stockings with the naughty but cute little ruffle. "Like my mom's aerobics instructor always told me, you gotta shake what God gave you, honey."
Fred would have laughed, but there was Harmony's non-breathing breath tickling her thigh again and that would have been inappropriate and with the corset on, that might not have been a good idea anyway. Damn, but this was a short skirt! But it was pretty sexy, being almost able to see the curve of her ass and knowing that everyone would be looking and the boots were thankfully leather and not vinyl so that the basic non-existence of panties wasn't blatantly obvious.
"And everyone at this club dresses like this?" Fred asked. "Because otherwise I'm going to feel a little naked and slutty."
"Oh, totally, it's fetish night," Harmony said, smoothing Fred's leather boots and giving Fred another ticklish feeling. "So many hotties that you won't believe it. Just don't let any of them handcuff you because most of them are vamps or vamp wannabes who'd trade you for a bite any day."
"Harmony!" Fred said, a little shocked. "You're taking me to a vampire bar?"
"No!" Harmony said, appalled. "It's a mixed bar. Lots of straights. I mean, lots of wannabes, but there are nice straight people for you, I promise."
Two hours later, when Fred had turned down the fourth guy who wanted to "get in a little necking around the corner," Harmony was looking considerably less confident about the straight people who went to vampire/human fetish clubs and listened to so much Cure that Robert Smith might have been embarrassed. Not that it wasn't a little flattering hearing the hot vampire who looked a lot like an attractive Matt Damon beg her to become his immortal mistress, to put her boot on his chest so he could worship her. But there was biting. And the soullessness. And the wrong.
Also, having done the whole slave dimension thing, the wannabe version was a hell of a lot less interesting and sort of ridiculous and absurd and annoying.
"Okay, so it's a little...vampire," Harmony admitted, handing Fred a whiskey sour and grimacing. "I swear, it's usually not so vampy. We can go...after this song. Come on, let's dance!"
Fred hated dancing. Also, she'd never danced in three-inch heels, but the ways Harmony wasn't taking no for an answer...this was just getting embarrassing and half her butt was so clearly hanging out of her "skirt" and if anyone else ever saw her this way she was going to sink through the floor and die.
The worst part? Harmony could dance in heels and a corset and was doing her best to slither and gyrate with Fred's awkward attempts to look cool.
"I can't dance!" Fred said. "I'm sorry!"
"It's okay!" Harmony said, putting her hands on Fred's hips. "Just follow me and you'll be cool!"
And at first Fred was pretty dubious about this, but then Harmony's body was plastered against Fred's and moving up and down and Fred? Fred was kind of getting it, enough to turn around and rub against Harmony in a friendly-sexy way that hid the exposed ass issue and got Harmony to put her hands on Fred's breasts, which was kind of exciting because the entire club was now watching...and that population apparently included Spike, who was smoking a cigarette and drinking Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.
Very illegal of him, and very...shit. Fred wanted to die because Spike was clearly too amused by the Fred and Harmony show.
"What's wrong, Fred?" Harmony asked. "Oh. Spike. I forgot he sometimes comes here. Wanna go say hi?"
"No!" Fred said. "I want to go home."
"Okay," Harmony said. "But we should still say hi. Spike's chill about this kind of thing. He's not going to bust you to Angel or anything, and he saw us dancing, so it's not like he's going to forget."
That was...a true and good point. Fred sighed and let Harmony lead them to the bar, much to the appreciation of the bar's clientele, who were all ogling Fred's legs.
"Harmony," Spike said as a Nine Inch Nails came up on the sound system. "And Miss Burkle. Been having a little fun?"
"Sort of," Harmony said with a crinkle of her nose. "The crowd sucks and Fred's getting hit on by the wrong kind of vamp, so we're done. Wanna come home with us? We're going to do some more drinking and maybe make out."
Fred choked. They were going to do what? When? And now Spike was invited to watch? How much did Harmony think that Fred had had to drink exactly that this would be okay again?
Spike lifted an eyebrow. "I don't think Fred knew that, Harm," he said dryly.
"Please," Harmony said. "Did you see us dancing? It was going to be a subtle make-out thing. Girly drinks, a movie...and then some harmless kissing. With tongue. And maybe some groping. I wasn't going to do anything wrong."
"I think I should just call a cab," Fred said, alarmed. "I...I..."
Spike smirked and took another swig of the Jack. "Don't get your tail feathers ruffled, Fredlet," he said. "Two's company, three's a crowd, and we're all friends, aren't we?"
Spike wasn't going to let Harmony take advantage of Fred. At least, that's how the brain, which was now a little swimmy with the drinking and the dancing and the sexy looks all around, interpreted that statement from Spike. Because Buffy! And Spike was a souled vampire, and Angel certainly wouldn't be suggesting some sort of tawdry Harmony and Fred and Spike threesome. Of course, Fred wouldn't mind an Angel and Spike and Fred threesome. That would be...a wrong and bad thing but in the yummy way of imagining Wes and Gunn and Fred before Gunn broke up with Fred and Fred found out that Wes was all over The Bitch.
"We are friends," Fred said, putting an arm around Harmony, who beamed. "Let's go home!"
By the time Harmony had managed to find her keys and unlock the door, Fred had revised her earlier thought. Spike wasn't just going to let Harmony take advantage of Fred; he was going to make it sound like the sexiest possible idea in the history of time. When Harmony had undone Fred's garter in the car, Spike hadn't made a single noise. He'd just smiled, turned a corner, and then licked his lips. Of course, Fred hadn't exactly told Harmony to stop it, not even when there had been Harmony hand on the inside of her thigh inching upward.
"Harmony," Spike had said then. "Don't wreck my upholstery."
"Aww," Harmony said with a pout. "You're no fun."
"That's not true and you know it," Spike replied. "There's a time and a place for everything, and in my bloody car is not the place for whatever you're planning."
"No. Fun," Harmony repeated, running her fingers over Fred's collarbone. "I bet Fred agrees with me, don't you, Fred?"
Fred coughed. "I..." she said again, feeling very, very dirty somehow. Not dirty enough to say no, though, which was the weird and bad thing that felt good. Being ogled by Harmony...being groped by Harmony? That felt nice. Having Spike watch? Was a little creepy, but also a little bit hot, the way Fred used to feel when she'd smoked half a joint with the boys and showed them her bra. She knew it wasn't going to go anywhere she didn't want it to, but it was naughty and sexy and cool.
"Seem to have lost your words," Spike said. "Innit that a little off for a babbler?"
"I haven't lost anything!" Fred announced, stung. "It's just that I'm not sure what kind of words to have for a potential vampire threesome that I wasn't exactly planning. It's all very confusing, and hey, I don't see you big with the words. If you just think it's funny, you can drop us off and go home. Harmony and I can have a girl's night."
"Yeah," Harmony said, perking up and squeezing Fred's right breast. "Shape up or ship out, Blondie Bear."
"Don't ruddy call me that," Spike said. "And I would like to point out that it was Fred, and not me, who said the words vampire sex threesome and that it was in no way my idea, though a man can't object if something like that falls in his lap. Unless it's Angel, who objects about everything."
So yeah, all in all, Fred was not surprised that she was waiting outside Harmony's apartment with her garters down and her skirt providing the legal defense against public nudity in only the most technical of ways while Spike lounged against the wall and smoked another cigarette.
"Does this happen a lot when you're a vampire?" Fred asked, a little rattled at how calm Spike was. "Random orgy-type things between friends?"
"Sometimes," Spike said, offering her the bottle of Jack, which Fred took gratefully. "Usually it's all vamps, or it's a big sex-and-dinner type affair. Dru loved this kind of thing...Harm here used to be a little picky about her girls. Said no dice unless it was Charlize Bloody Theron."
"Fred is just as cute as Charlize Theron," Harmony protested, opening the door. "Cuter than you. And you're disgusting. Sex and dinner? Ew. I'd never fuck anything I was going to...you know, we're going to stop now and come into my apartment already."
Fred, who had taken a long drink of Jack Daniels just to block out the scary, scary words she was hearing, wiped her mouth, and shuddered. "Let's do that," she agreed. "Because that was just unnecessary."
"Agreed," Spike said, helping Harmony and Fred into the house and closing and locking the door behind them.
Being kissed by a vampire was a strange event, even when it's a wanted one. Spike's mouth was cold, the kind of cold fingers got on cool nights, the way Fred's nose always got icy cold when she went to CityWalk without a jacket and she wanted to warm him up with her own lips, her tongue, maybe her entire body if she had to. But there was Harmony kissing and nibbling down Fred's spine and she's being so nice about it that Fred wants to return the favor however she can.
This was probably a symptom of being corrupted by the lax and decadent morality of Wolfram and Hart, Fred decided as Harmony's hands cupped her ass and squeezed and Spike was trying to undo the very laced up corset. Six months ago, she would have been horrified. For being touched and kissed and in general, softened up for not one, but two vampires was something that only the suicidal would do, and not for fun. Also, last Fred checked, she was supposed to be a straight monogamous girl, the kind who wanted a nice guy, not seedy threesomes that...
"Oh, my God, do that again," Fred pled with Harmony, whose hand was in new places that Fred liked Harmony's hand. Spike took the opportunity to start sucking on Fred's neck and this was all very nice, but not as nice as Harmony's hand just pressing against her pubic bone and...
"Okay," Harmony said cheerfully, doing it again while Fred moaned. "Hee. You're so cute when you're getting some."
Lax and decadent morality worked for the Romans, Fred thought. And oh, if she didn't get to touch more of Harmony soon, she was going to lose it, because Spike was very nice when he was nuzzling but Harmony's naked breasts against Fred's back were the sexiest thing in a night of sexy things.
"Mmm," Fred agreed, twisting a little to try to get to Harmony, which made Spike a little jealous because he growled and swatted Fred on the side of her thigh, which would be annoying at any other time but this time just got the wicked creature who has apparently possessed Fred's nervous system to giggle and push her ass out, begging for a spanking. "You're so cute in general."
Harmony grinned like crazy and then there was kissing, Fred's tongue in Harmony's mouth searching for hidden treasures with Harmony's hand still stroking away between Fred's thighs, which were getting a little wet and sticky and definitely hotter, which was funny. Because she should have been transferring heat to Harmony, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like Fred had a fever, that she was so hot that she needs both of them to cool her down before she melted into cellular goo.
Nice vampires. Pale and blonde and very, very sexual. With clever hands that liked touching Fred's bare skin and tracing patterns that sent off all sorts of hormonal messages into Fred's brain that said yes, yes, more, fuck me yes.
"What'm I, chopped liver?" Spike asked, sounding even more jealous as he put a hand on Fred's back and left it there for Fred to lean into.
"You're pretty," Fred said, trying to look back over her shoulder to smile reassuringly at Spike. She didn't want him to feel not-wanted because he was hot! Blonde and the smile and the cheekbones and the skin and yum. "We like you very much, me and Harmony. Don't we, Harm?"
"Uh-huh," Harmony said, dropping to her knees and going to work on the corset with such skill that Fred was breathless and giggly with anticipation and maybe a little oxygen deprivation. "He's cool."
"Cool?" Spike asked petulantly. "I'm bloody legendary. William the Bloody Legendary!"
This could lead to less sexiness if it is not stopped, so Fred licked her lips while Harmony pulls off the corset that left Fred naked except for her garter belt, fishnet stockings, and the knee-high boots with the stiletto heels she had bought only because Harmony wanted to go to fetish clubs.
"You have nice hands, too," Fred said, letting her arms go behind her back and get caught in one of Spike's. He tugged back on them hard, letting her know that she's been caught. "I like 'em. And pretty eyes. And your mouth is all sexy and it knows how to give me shivers."
"Yeah," Harmony agreed. "You're mad sexy, Spikey babe."
"Damn right," he said with a severe nod of the head. "Come on, Harm, let's get this one on the bed for some quality ravishing."
"Ravishing is good," Harmony said, perking up and flashing another lip-gloss slick smile at Fred. She got off her knees lightly, kissed Spike on the cheek, and then took another long moment to shove her tongue down Fred's throat. Fred, caught between Harmony and Spike like a pinned butterfly, whimpered and squirmed.
Well, it certainly wasn't a bad thing to be ravished by these two. Not at all.
"Your son brought you into the 21st century. It's like the 20th century except people are afraid and the stock market is much lower." --The Simpsons
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Author: Jennifer-Oksana [email] [website]
Details: Standalone | NC-17 | *slash* | 14k | 04/20/04
Summary: Fred and Harmony do some girly bonding. Somehow Spike gets involved.
Notes: Spoilers: Harm's Way
Disclaimer/Other: Joss, not me.
Distribution: Lists, standing orders, others by permission.
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